God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things that I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done.
I say this prayer multiple times a day. I have days where I have to say this prayer once a minute or just say it over and over. There are so many things that I cannot change and I don't want to. I don't want to change someone's opinion on something that they feel very passionate about. However; that doesn't mean that I won't listen to what they have to say. Now, we may have a healthy debate back and forth, but that does not mean that I am trying to get that person to CHANGE their mind. I simply want them to try to obtain a different viewpoint outside of their own. Here is where the Wisdom part is coming in today. I should know the difference...I DO know the difference, yet here I am banging out on the keyboard, having an online debate with an old friend of mine about a Wet/Dry vote that is being held in two days in my hometown.
For as long as I can remember, my hometown has been a dry county. A few years ago, one of the municipalities decided to have their own vote since they sit on the lake and draw in a large majority or tourists, on whether to stay dry, go wet or go moist. For those of you who do not know what moist is, it means that alcohol can only be served in restaurants and there are no straight out bars. You cannot purchase alcohol from a local store, but you can go into the restaurant, sit down, have some food and enjoy some drinks...or you can just go straight to the bar and just start knocking back your drinks. Order an appetizer at least once and you can drink at the bar for as long as you want or until the bartender decides to cut you off.
Now, 35 years after I was born, there is a Progress Somerset propaganda that has sprung up. Now, my hometown is considered part of the "Bible Belt", so now you have the churches and other groups using their own propaganda. I admire Progress Somerset because their platform is about bringing in new restaurants, new stores, more jobs, more revenue, expand the police force, etc. While the churches and other groups are using CHILDREN in their propaganda! Really?! "Think about the children" "What about the children?" Maybe this is why I had such an issue with the churches in my hometown. They are out for their own interests and will use and ABUSE anything they deem necessary to try to get their way, because they can't come up with a decent platform to make a stand on, EXCEPT BY USING CHILDREN as the SOLE reason for staying dry.
I have a friend who has decided to vote NO, because he feels it would be on his conscious if someone went out, got drunk, hit a family and killed them. Now, I cannot change his mind on his decision to vote and I never would try. However; the thought process he has is a little screwed up. We as individuals are ONLY responsible for the actions that we CHOOSE to make. Smart, stupid, screwed up, crazy and flat out insane ideas...we are the ones who make that decision, no one forces our hands. As an alcoholic, I KNOW that it isn't going to be that 12th drink that gets me drunk, it's going to be the FIRST one. However; I only know that because I participate actively in A.A. I attend meetings nightly and I am in the process of working my steps. Now, again...here is where that lovely Serenity prayer comes in, because I know that I cannot change the outcome of whatever is going to happen and I have the Wisdom to know that, but then I wonder if I was still home...where would I be in my journey?
Would I still be a raging alcoholic? Drinking until I passed out, yet stayed WIDE AWAKE, because I was a "functional alcoholic"? Would I still be driving while in that functional alcoholic state? Would I be working on my sobriety? Would I be looking for a party? Would I be seeking for something else? I don't have the answers to any of these questions because I DON'T KNOW. As an alcoholic, I have to GET OUT OF MY HEAD AND STOP THINKING. Thinking is a bad thing for an alcoholic, because once we start thinking, we start rationalizing, once that starts then it's all down hill from there.
All I can say is that I pray for the upcoming vote and that whatever God's will is, shall prevail...whether it be wet or dry. I pray that people will remain responsible with their drinking, but we all know that there are things that happen every day that cannot be prevented. And how I see it is this, IF it is YOUR time to go...you are going to go....whether hit by a drunk driver, a sober driver, a hit and run or if you just pass away in your sleep. I pray for my friends. I pray for my family. I pray for my self in the simple form of "Thy will, not mine, be done Lord."
As of today, I have not had a drink, yet. As of today, I have not maimed, killed or injured anyone intentionally or by accident, yet. So far, today is a good day and that is ALL I can do. Take it ONE day at a time. If I need reminding, I need only look at my keychain where both my desire and my one month chip are, plus I can look at my family....because I know that they need me here, MORE than I need that drink.
Thanks for reading you all. Today was a little scattered, but I'm just angry over people using children to try to achieve their goals. *Deep Breath*
Serenity Prayer....
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