Some days I catch myself forgetting that my youngest child is only 14 and therefore does not quite understand why I say or allow certain things to be said or done. I'm trying to teach her all the things that will make her look at the world in every possible different way. Trying to show her that just because she may see something as good or bad does not mean that all of it is either of those things. For instance, a few have shared some things I have written and she sees this as intruding upon my thoughts that I shared with friends. I'm having to explain to her that I don't mind and that if someone is sharing something that I wrote down and it shows that these are my own thoughts, that it isn't a bad thing, and it may very well open up a discussion among people and inadvertently help another person. These are good things.
I'm not quite sure that she completely understands my thinking process, but hopefully as time goes on, she will eventually get there. I am not naive enough to believe that because I explain something to her means that she will understand it or even give it a second thought. She has her own mind and her own thoughts and I enjoy listening to her. Granted, at times she will say or do things that make me sigh or laugh, but I'm glad that she is saying them so if it needs correction we can address that. This is where the lesson in humility comes in. Showing her that we all make mistakes and that it's okay. To show her that we need to own those same mistakes and take the lesson with us and then move forward. She can apply that same process to everything from school to friends to life in general.
I wish I could take all the mistakes that I have learned from and implant them into her head. Sadly, I cannot, but it doesn't mean that I don't share the wisdom learned from it. I can only hope that she listens and applies it to her own life.
As for the lesson in humanity, there isn't much there for me to correct, she is the kind of person that wants to help those in need and do what she can for them. There are a lot of times that I take a lesson from her. She has this way of knowing if something is wrong with someone or coming up with ideas to help others in unconventional ways. For her 14th birthday she made up bags with basic necessities to pass out to the homeless. I don't know about you, but when I was 14, it never crossed my mind to help someone else instead of focusing on whatever I wanted. This is the type of person I have raised and she makes me so very proud. She is carrying that sense of humanity into everything that she does and it shows. Her ultimate goal in life is to be a Pediatric Oncologist...she wants to help children with cancer and help their families. I am sure that she is going to make a very big impact on people throughout the course of her life.
When our children are born, we have dreams for them, but ultimately we just want the very best for them. We don't want them to walk in our path, but to walk beside us and go so much farther than we ever did. Giving them the tools that they will need so they can succeed and then pass on to their own children, should they decide to have them. The same lessons we took from our parents and them from their parents, so on and so forth, we want them to hold those lessons close to their heart and remember them as they grow and age.
So many times we look at today's youth and we question what kind of lessons they are being taught. We make comments about how we would not have dared talk to our parents that way. What we forget is that not everyone grew up the way you did, some have grown up worse and some better. We, as a society, have forgotten that saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." We really do have to be the change we want to see. We need to set the example. Then watch as our own children go out and they live their lives how we have taught them and other children see that. We are all guilty of giving our children things they want but haven't earned. I know I'm guilty of it. We simply have to remember that we are here to be positive influences in others lives. You may not see what a difference you can make in a child's life until many years later, but rest assured that something you said or did stuck with them and they will remember it.
Now, do something positive today and smile.
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