I woke up a little later than I normally do, but not quite as late as I did yesterday, so that is an improvement. Unfortunately I still woke up with the shakes. I'm told that will eventually stop. I'd like it to stop rather quickly, but my body is having to recover from the abuse that it suffered from my own person. I'm still not feeling quite at a point where I am comfortable back in church, but I know that I will get to the time when I will feel safer going there. I already feel enough shame when my immediate family has to watch me shake, tremor and stutter profusely and the people in my nightly group have all been there themselves, so it's nothing new to them. What I don't want to happen is to be sitting in church and have a spell and then a very well intentioned member try to comfort me and say the right things. This is not something that a person can be comforted through and there are no right things to say. So, for now...I will continue my detox process at home or at my meetings.
I'm actually really excited today. Today we are going to meet a woman that I have been talking to on facebook for a while now who lives in south Austin and we are just outside of north Austin. It took us some planning and configurations but we FINALLY nailed down a date. So our families are going to meet, cook out burgers and dogs, beans, watermelon and I am going to make her a butterscotch pecan pie that I am going to make her take home with her. It's good, but it's really rich and it's made with actual Scotch. Sure, it essentially cooks out, but I can still taste it and I look at that as breaking my streak. Why? Because today is 12 days and I am finally starting to come out of the major withdrawals. So, why start all over???
No. Thank you.
Pat took the dogs to the doggie park today for a little bit. I stayed behind because it's just too hot outside for me to be out there. I sweat enough as it is...lol. For now though, I am going to run to Target and pick up a few things before Shannon and her family get here. That should give me enough time to get beans and the pecan pie made.
Okay, so I wound up baking the pie and fixing the beans while Larry and Pat, mainly Larry, fixed the kabobs...Pat was there for great moral support...lol. I sent the butterscotch pecan pie home with Shannon and her family and from what I understand, she is thoroughly enjoying it. Larry was in shock and thrilled when I informed him that not only were they taking the pie, they were also going home with the bottle of Scotch used in the making of said pie. Apparently the Scotch I used for baking was his favorite. Excellent! I got rid of a bottle of alcohol and it's going to a home where it will be lovingly cared for...LOL
I cannot tell you the amount of laughs we had with this family. Our kids all got along, very well, and all of us adults laughed a lot and I laughed harder than I have in a long, long time tonight. It is very safe to say that we have new friends and just personally speaking, I am beyond thrilled! Pat and Larry have a lot of things that they enjoy and can talk about. Shannon and I are basically cut from the same cloth. And apparently, we will be having a Monty Python get together soon. Ummm. I cannot tell you just how much I am looking forward to that...lol. I don't get the whole Monty Python thing. I'm more of a Rocky Horror kind of girl myself, but I don't knock what they enjoy. It's hilarious...even if I don't completely understand it. My husband enjoys it and that is all that matters.
I did not attend AA tonight. Am I sad? Absolutely not. I had too good of a time at home to want to go to the meeting. I am not under court orders to attend and I firmly believe that God truly had a hand in tonight for me. He knows our greatest needs and He provides for what we need, when we need it. I needed to laugh, to smile, to relax and just let my walls down for a little bit.
Thank you to Shannon, Larry, their children, my husband and my daughter...for everything tonight. For the laughs. For the shared sarcasm. For everyone just being themselves. I will never be able to thank you all for the things you provided for me tonight.
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