B.O.R.E.D

I am so bored right now, I can't stand it. I have watched a couple episodes of House. Talked to my mom on the phone. Checked emails and responded to a couple things. Done my obligatory facebook update and now...here I sit. Completely and utterly bored out of my mind.

Pat graduates tomorrow and then the next day he starts his regional travel before finally coming home. I'm not thrilled about one of the places he's going, but hey...whatever. At least one of us will get to see some cool things in other countries. Things that I'll never get to see for myself. I can't live through my husband and sometimes, okay...so a lot of times, I get really jealous of that fact. I don't get to see these things and experience them for the first time as a couple. If I ever get to see any of these places, then it will be completely different. It won't be something really cool for him because he will have already experienced it. Instead I find myself keeping track of the places he goes and the things he does while there and intentionally plan on leaving him behind and going by myself IF I ever get to see the same things. I find myself angry over it. 

This last year has just been really hard, both personally and financially. I know that when he does this travel, it will all go on his GTC and I know that I'll have the stupid bill sitting in my mail box before he even gets home. I will then have to pay this bill out of funds from our own account and then have to sit and wait weeks for any kind of reimbursement on it and maybe not even be fully reimbursed because some of the places he's going and staying cost more than what his per diem is. How is this fair? My jealousy and anger over all of this can and probably will turn into rage at some point. I'm not understanding the why behind his travel to one particular country. It's not a country in his AO, he's said himself that he's going to play tourist. Why? Why not just go to the one country that is in his AO and then come home. He talks about wanting to just come home. Well. I'm not seeing the issue anymore. JUST. COME. HOME. Nope, instead it's going to be one big tourist trip simply so he can see these places. Whoopity do. I want to go see Savannah, GA, which is about a 10 hr drive away and I haven't. Why? Because I want to see and experience it with him for the first time. 

I want that "first time" experience to be as a couple. I understand that some of the travel he's had to do is necessity. I get that. It doesn't mean it doesn't make me angry, but I still understand it. I'm just having a really difficult time understanding why one would go to a country where we'll never be...EVER...instead of just coming home. 

I just do not understand. 

So instead, I'll go sit down and cry. Because I'm frustrated and angry.