Everybody loses, we all got bruises

I went to bed last night in tears over a situation that I have no control over. As the saying goes, “I have no dog in the race.” And that fact alone drove me to absolute insanity, anger and ultimately tears. The tears weren’t from the anger, the tears were because I genuinely care for this person and worry about their well-being. Now, I’m not the only one upset over the situation, but it felt as if I was the only one stating my feelings.

I understand the mindset the other person has. When you have two Type A personalities who like control, organization and just overall justice and it seems like the world or the system is against you at every turn, you get angry. The difference is that no matter what the odds, even if they are stacked against me, I will fight to my last breath for what is right, what is good and what should be. Even if I lose, I will know that I gave it my all. And when the time is right I will fight again until an acceptable outcome has been reached. EVEN if the losses far outweigh the wins.

The song I just listened to had these lyrics in it, Everybody loses – We all got bruises. And I think it’s appropriate right now. The good Lord knows I have plenty of bruises, but it’s about fighting for what you want. You have to put effort into something in order to PROVE that you have the best interest in your mind, heart and soul. Nothing in our lives that is worth fighting for comes easily.

And while nothing worth having comes easy, prayer sure does. As I was lying in bed last night drifting off to sleep and the tears were falling onto my pillow, I prayed the most sincere and heartbroken prayer I have in a while. The last thing I remember praying about was to keep them safe and away from harm, to wrap them in a protective cocoon and to guide me in the way I should go in this. To give me the courage to do what needs to be done, even if it means for me to personally step aside. I don’t remember a single thing after that except this weird dream where it was just shapes morphing into other shapes, so on and so forth. Then I woke up.

I think there is a lot more to the dream than I am willing to analyze at this point. Truth be told though, I won’t analyze it. I’ll accept it for what it was and just sit back and see what all goes down the next few months.